The best statuses and aphorisms about work
M I didn’t really like my last job, but my mother said that working as a sofa driver all my life was impossible.
X I wanted to work... at the opera... I came... I screamed... and that’s it... I went home...)
A do you know the difference between "AT WORK" and "WORK"?
T rudo fucking everyday life
IN I still can’t get used to the fact that when my boss asks me “how are you?”, he means at his place, not at my place...
U work has three advantages: Friday, salary and vacation.
N the boss comes to work on time on the day you are late, and is late on the days you arrive on time
AND You're waiting for the end of the working day, you come home, and then - bam! - and the second shift in the kitchen!
R I don’t want to work, but every day greed overcomes laziness.
TO So much tedious work is being prepared for us by the meager minds of the bosses...
WITH If you accidentally sweat, don’t forget to show up to your superiors.
N Take time to rest, because there is always work, but life tends to end.
IN joined the new team... I especially liked their tradition: any remark from the boss is considered a toast.
U surprise your boss. Come to work on time.
WITH My job is strange - they give me assignments like I'm smart, but they give me salaries like I'm stupid...
ABOUT I love my job... Three stacks of papers. The first one needs to be done urgently, the second one needs to be done very urgently, and the third one needs to be done yesterday!
TO he gets up early, he hasn’t been laid off yet...
ABOUT It seems that Chukovsky wrote about my work: “And such rubbish all day long - either a seal will call, or a deer.”
P play the fool and please your boss...
H To work normally, click now on the cross in the upper right corner...
P off-season work in the office: winter hibernation... spring vitamin deficiency... summer indifference... autumn depression...
P oh, I’m pregnant - I’m sick of work and drawn to the salty sea!
TO When the boss says that “we need to make our nose bleed,” he never means his own nose.
P go to the file:
S:\Crap at work\Hemorrhagic\Stupid clients\Delinquent payers\Oh...eaten\Dear Sergey Anatolyevich. doc
WITH The hardest thing for women to get a job! Everyone needs 18-year-old girls with 30 years of experience, two degrees and grown children!
R WORK, WORK - switch to Fedot, from Fedot to his brother, and their salary comes to me!
ABOUT troubles at work in Russian: at 12:00 everyone went shopping. At 13:00 everyone returned and sat down to dinner.
M We are not afraid of work: if there is no work, we go to bed, if there is work, we also sleep...
WITH mocking - a break between arbeiten.
E If in the morning you want to go from home to work, and in the evening you want to go home from work, then you have neither a normal home nor a normal job.
E If you are late for work, then at least go home early
"B"l@d" is not a swear word, but the sound with which the Internet turns off in our office...
WITH The most useful thing I've done at work lately is lubricate the door so that you can't hear me leaving an hour early!
X Okay, we’re working hard here: the movies folder is 520 Gb, the music folder is 250 Gb. Folder work - 30 Kb...
E If an employee sits at work for 10 minutes doing nothing, he automatically goes into sleep mode
H To earn a living, you have to work. But to get rich, you need to come up with something else.
L The best job is a hobby that also pays well!
WITH The most reliable plan: “Bullshit, we’ll figure it out on the spot!
E If the thought is not born for a long time, the boss comes and performs a caesarean section.
U build a flash mob - yawn in the morning at work.
TO The end of the work week is a small orgasm!
M I don’t think the boss looks at me and thinks: “This device can work faster.”
B lin, I haven't worked in the office for so long that I forgot how to lay out a scarf.
P go to work or sleep? Sleep or go to work? I'll go to work and sleep!!!
R I work according to a schedule: every day is possible.
D ears to the sea... Ass on the chair.
U There is a hidden meaning to my work... So hidden that even I can’t find it.
I I work as a leading engineer. And I’m relaxing... as a housewife. In short, I don’t have a damn chance to rest!!!
N I don’t want to live in Paris... Firstly, I don’t know French... and secondly, I have to travel far to work...
E Just because I don't do anything at work doesn't mean I don't care about my work
IN You don’t want to go to work on Monday in two cases: if you didn’t have time to rest well over the weekend, and if you had time to rest well over the weekend
E If you are offered a flexible work schedule, this means that they will bend you at the first opportunity.
TO No matter how you look at a horseshoe, it won’t do any good until you nail it to your hoof and start plowing!
"I I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job because he will find an easy way to do it.”
Bill Gates
Z Do you know how to relax with the whole team for one trip? Drop in and buy a ticket for the boss.
A I can at least carry bricks... as long as I lie down
WITH I'll have lunch now. I'll gain strength. And when I start... I want to sleep.
R The working day is divided into “before lunch” and “before leaving”.
Z You go to the website in the morning... and see that everyone is already at their jobs.
WITH The best part about work is getting ready to go home
If you wanted this, you cannot separate your life from humanity. You live in him, by him and for him. We are all created to interact, like feet, hands, eyes.
Marcus Aurelius
Human then a person is when he is with everyone together.
J. Amadou
Human by nature he is a social being.
Aristotle
Two people can save each other where one dies.
O. Balzac
Good of an individual or a particular nation is connected with the common good of all.
A. Barbusse
Socialism is not destroys individuals, on the contrary, socialism should be and is the improvement of the individual.
A. Barbusse
Personality, merging with the team, he does not lose himself. On the contrary, it reaches the highest level of consciousness and improvement in the collective.
A. Barbusse
Bourgeois society does not produce a single new gratifying phenomenon that does not have its shadow side.
A. Bebel
Creates human nature, but develops and forms his society.
V. G. Belinsky
Alive a person carries in his heart, in his blood, the life of society: he suffers from its ailments, is tormented by its suffering, blooms with its health, blissful with its happiness outside of his own, his personal circumstances.
B. G. Belinsky
Human becomes a person only among people.
I. Becher
Human created for society. He is unable and does not have the courage to live alone.
W. Blackstone,
The team plays a huge role in the life of each of us, in the formation of the individual as a part of society. Yes, we are all different, but we are all human and simply must find a common language and understanding with each other. Only in friendship and communication in a team the best qualities of people are revealed. What role does the team play in your life? Quotes about the team are presented here:
The individual, merging with the collective, does not lose himself. On the contrary, it reaches the highest level of consciousness and improvement in the collective.
Know how to work in a team. Knowing how to work in a team means, first of all, accepting criticism correctly and not being shy about criticizing the mistakes of others. Zelinsky N. D.
The unity of people is an unbreakable fortress. Walter Scott
...The enormous spiritual power of a person is to feel in a friendly team... to fight as long as there is a spark of life in you.
Nikolay Ostrovsky
Only participation in collective work allows a person to develop a correct, moral attitude towards other people - kindred love and friendship towards every worker, indignation and condemnation towards a lazy person, towards a person who shirks work. Anton Makarenko
No other force will make a person great and wise, as does the power of labor - collective, friendly, free.
Maksim Gorky
Even to fight for individual rights, it is necessary to create a collective. Tadeusz Kotarbiński
Only in a collective do there exist for each individual the means that give him the opportunity for the comprehensive development of his inclinations, and, therefore, only in a collective is personal freedom possible. Karl Marx
The team is not some faceless mass. It exists as a wealth of individuals. V. A. Sukhomlinsky
Any critical situation instantly divides the team into four approximately equal parts.
The first is that they are trying to escape. The second one falls into a stupor or pretends to be a rag. The third is hysterical, throws up her hands and looks for those to blame (usually this is everything, minus the seeker himself). And finally, the fourth is trying to do something constructive.
There is one more thing you should know about the team - it cannot exist forever.
In an ideal work team, everyone should have at least the slightest idea of how their colleagues live.
The team differs from the crowd in that it does not trample those who stumble, but helps them rise. Arina Zabavina
There is no collective intelligence, but there may be collective madness or stupidity. Joseph Levin
If there were no points at which the interests of everyone converged, there could be no talk of any kind of society.
The individual, merging with the collective, does not lose himself. On the contrary, it reaches the highest level of consciousness and improvement in the collective. Socialism does not destroy the individual; on the contrary, socialism must exist and is the improvement of the individual. Know how to work in a team. Knowing how to work in a team means, first of all, accepting criticism correctly and not being shy about criticizing the mistakes of others. It is impossible to live in society and be free from society. ...Man is not an abstract being huddled somewhere outside the world. Man is the world of man, the state, society. Man is unthinkable outside of society. In all respects, man is necessary for man. A person can do without many things, but not without a person. Two people can save each other where one dies. Man is created to live in society; separate him from him, isolate him - and his thoughts will become confused, his character will harden, hundreds of absurd passions will arise in his soul, extravagant ideas will sprout in his brain like wild thorns in a wasteland. A person must be a friend of people - he owes them everything that he has and in him. Man is created for society. He is unable and does not have the courage to live alone. A person cannot live in solitude; he needs society.
“Any person who doesn’t work is a scoundrel”
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
“To live means to work. Labor is human life"
Voltaire
“If you value people based on their work, then a horse is better than any person.”
Maksim Gorky
“It’s amazing how important your job is when you need to take time off from it, and how unimportant it is when you ask for a raise.”
Robert Orben
“Work is sometimes something like fishing in places where there are obviously no fish”
Jules Renard
“The means that serve to satisfy passions are called abilities, and the use of abilities is the mechanical and spiritual work of man.”
Wilhelm Weitling
“Love and work are the only worthwhile things in life. Work is a unique form of love."
Marilyn Monroe
“Rest of the heart is best ensured by the work of the mind”
Gaston Levis
“Whoever you can laugh with, you can work with”
Robert Orben
“Work is work, but in this life you also need to do something useful”
Henryk Jagodzinski
"There is a time to work, and there is a time to love. There is no other time left"
Coco Chanel
“There’s only one kind of work that doesn’t cause depression, and that’s work you don’t have to do.”
Georges Elgozy
“He who is diligent in service should not be afraid of his ignorance; for he will read every new case"
Kozma Prutkov“The world is made up of slackers who want to have money without working, and idiots who are willing to work without getting rich.”
George Shaw
“Most people work most of the time to live, and the little free time they have left is so disturbing to them that they try in every possible way to get rid of it.”
Johann Goethe
“Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice, need.”
Voltaire
“Any worker begins to lose his touch five years before reaching retirement age, no matter what that age is.”
Cyril Parkinson
“Work fills all the time allotted for it”
Cyril Parkinson
“Any person can do any job, provided that it does not need to be taken up now”
Robert Benchley
“Work is my first pleasure”
Wolfgang Mozart
“I am a strong believer in luck, and I have noticed that the harder I work, the luckier I am.”
Thomas Jefferson
“Diligent is a characteristic of an employee about whom there is nothing more to say”
Pierre Daninos
“Work is what a person is obliged to do, but Play is what he is not obliged to do. Therefore, making artificial flowers or carrying water in a sieve is work, but knocking down pins or climbing Mont Blanc is fun.”
Mark Twain
“If everything seems easy, this unmistakably proves that the worker has very little skill and that the work is beyond his understanding.”
Leonardo da Vinci
“Work, in essence, is no different from alcohol and pursues the same goal: to be distracted, to forget, and most importantly, to hide from oneself.”
Aldous Huxley
“Inspiration comes only while working”
Gabriel Marquez
“To earn a living, you have to work. But to get rich, you have to come up with something else."
Jean Carr
"I'm too energetic to work"
Marcel Achard
“It’s not important to be able to work well, it’s important to be able to report well”
Tristan Bernard
“Force your own work; don't wait for her to force you"
Benjamin Franklin
"It's terribly hard work to do nothing"
Oscar Wilde
“It’s not enough to be able to work - you also have to work. It’s not enough to work, you also have to be able to work.”
Gabriel Laub
“If you work for the present, your work will come out insignificant; we must work with only the future in mind"
Anton Chekhov
“The only salvation in mental grief is work”
Pyotr Tchaikovsky
“I have urgent work - for posterity”
Jules Renard
“A man worked smart, worked and suddenly felt that he had become stupider than his work.”
Vasily Klyuchevsky
“Our favorite work wakes us up early, and we happily take on it”
William Shakespeare
“He who does no more than what he is paid for will never get more than what he gets.”
Elbert Hubbard
"The master's eyes do more work than his hands"
Benjamin Franklin
“The best workers are not suitable for the highest positions, but they are good in secondary roles.”
Gaston Levis
“To overcome the worst suffering, there are two means: opium and work.”
Heinrich Heine
“The greatest sensual pleasure, which contains no impurity or aversion, is, in a healthy state, rest after work.”
Immanuel Kant
“Never start working before breakfast; and if you still need to start working before breakfast, eat breakfast first.”
Henry Shaw
“I would like death to find me working in the fields”
Michel Montaigne
"The Stock Broker: A Sloth Who Works Like a Devil to Avoid Working"
Adrian Decourcel
“When all you think about is how to make money, it’s a lot of work. Little by little, without noticing it, a person loses himself.”
Haruki Murakami
“If you want to train the mind of your student, train the powers that he must control. Exercise his body constantly; make him healthy and strong; let him work, act, run, scream; let him always be in motion; let him be a man in strength, and soon he will become one in mind... If we want to pervert this order, then we will produce early-ripening fruits, which will have neither maturity nor taste and which will not slow down: we will have young scientists and old children »
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
"An ounce of reputation is worth a pound of work"
Lawrence Peter
“The decisive role in work is not always played by the material, but always by the master”
Maksim Gorky
“Those who work while sitting earn more than those who work while standing.”
Ogden Nash
“Work is the last refuge of those who can’t do anything else”
Oscar Wilde
“There is no harder job than trying to look beautiful from eight in the morning until midnight.”
Brigitte Bardot
“Better a belly from beer than a hump from work”
Mikhail Zhvanetsky
“Every employee strives to reach his level of incompetence, and all useful work is done by those who have not yet reached this level.”
Lawrence Peter
“Nothing irritates me more than the sight of people sitting around doing nothing while I’m working.”
Jerome Jerome
“Friends help us live and prevent us from working”
Tadeusz Kotarbiński
“A scientist is a lazy person who kills time with work”
George Shaw
“In order to form intelligent characters in individuals, as the creators of a consistently developing, prosperous and forever happy society, everyone should be trained from an early age to daily useful work, in accordance with his strengths and abilities.”
Robert Owen
“Usually those who are best at working are the best at not working.”
Georges Elgozy
“If you are overly zealous in your service, you will lose the favor of the sovereign. If you are overly cordial in your friendship, you will lose the favor of your friends.”
Confucius
“The unemployed are unhappy without work, the employed are unhappy because there is too much work”
Frederic Beigbeder
“The hardest part of the job is deciding to start it”
Gabriel Laub
“A career is a wonderful thing, but it can’t warm anyone on a cold night.”
Marilyn Monroe
“I became a writer because I hate paperwork.”
Peter Vries
“If you always do tomorrow’s work today, then the last day of your life will be completely free.”
Ashley Brilliant
“The kingdom of freedom actually begins only where work, dictated by need and external expediency, ceases; therefore, by the nature of things, it lies on the other side of the sphere of material production itself.”
Karl Marx
“If a person does something, he should do it either for his own pleasure, or because he knows how to do this particular thing, or, finally, for the sake of a piece of bread; but to sew boots out of principle, to work out of principle and out of moral considerations, means simply ruining the material.”
Karel Capek
“The army is a bad school, because war doesn’t happen every day, and the military pretends that their work is permanent”
George Shaw
“Middle age is when you are too young to retire and too old to get another job.”
Lawrence Peter
“Government employee: a worker who hires others to do the job for which he was hired.”
Herbert Procnow
“The work we do willingly heals pain.”
William Shakespeare
“What a genius fears most is work - it turns him into talent”
Georges Elgozy
“God was pleased with his work, that’s what’s terrible.”
Samuel Butler
“The more I earn, the poorer my life becomes”
Frederic Beigbeder
“Being convinced that your work is extremely important is a sure sign of an impending nervous breakdown.”
Bertrand Russell
“Pension: rest forced on you when all you can do is work”
Georges Elgozy
“One machine can do the work of five ordinary people; no machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.”
Elbert Hubbard
“The most unfortunate of people is the one for whom there is no work in the world.”
Thomas Carlyle
“It is better to work without a specific goal than to do nothing”
Socrates
“Generation after generation of people work in jobs they hate just so they can buy something they don’t need.”
Chuck Palahniuk
“Currently, those who do the hardest work are paid the least; those whose work is easier have greater rewards. However, those who do nothing get the most.”
George Shaw
“Great joy is work. All the happiness of the earth comes from work!”
Valery Bryusov
“An hour of work will teach more than a day of explanation, for if I occupy a child in a workshop, his hands work in favor of his mind: he becomes a philosopher, considering himself only a craftsman.”
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
“When you work, you do the best you can”
Jean Rostand
“Having a family saves us from a huge amount of work, leaving no time for it”
Gabriel Laub
“- To serve the authorities? No, excuse me. And he was fired"
Emil Krotky
“People with clean hands are often best suited for dirty work.”
Janusz Wasilkowski
