The psychology of choice is such that today's decisions can become the basis of tomorrow's preferences. People often stick to choices they've already made once. The brand of toothpaste you started buying as a student can easily become the brand you choose for the rest of your adult life.
There are many reasons why you might stick with a particular brand for a long time. On the one hand, your first experience with a product can help you decide what you really like - and this will lead you to further purchases of that particular product. On the other hand, in many cases the actual differences in performance between brands are small, so it probably doesn't matter much which one you choose. In this case, you minimize the amount of effort you spend on making a choice and continue to buy what you bought before.
There is also evidence that the timing of your choice can influence your preferences. Research into the psychology of choice shows that when choosing one item over another, the act of making the choice increases our preference for the thing we choose and devalues the thing we gave up. today introduces an interesting study on the effect that the act of choice has on people’s preferences in a time period of up to 3 years.
Study participants had to choose a place to relax. For one group, the choice was inherently easy, as they were given two places to choose from, one of which was clearly preferable to the other. For the participants in the second group, the choice was difficult because they were offered destinations that were equally preferred for vacation.
Three years later, the study participants were brought back together and offered the same sets of vacation spots. Once again they rated their preferences.
Those people who have made difficult choices between destinations, showed a higher preference rating for the previously chosen vacation spot compared to the one that was rejected. Three years later, people's preferences remained the same.
When the choice was easy for people, another pattern in the psychology of choice is observed. When people have made an easy choice, it has little effect on their preferences. Three years later, people's preferences for the items they chose actually decreased compared to the items they rejected.
The psychology of choice is difficult when you have to choose among many options that you like about equally. This is a difficult choice, it requires attention and effort. You may also feel a little uncomfortable making this choice. Once you make that choice, the same psychological mechanisms will work to align your choices with your beliefs. So, when you make a difficult choice, you will increase your preference for what you have already chosen, and you will decrease your preference for what you have already rejected. And this reveals the peculiarity of the psychology of choice.
You can see the impact of the choices you make today years from now. This means that the choices you make today can stay with you for years to come.
Throughout life, a person has to make choices. What university to go to, what car to drive, or what to buy for dinner. The ability to choose is a manifestation of free will and the ability to build our lives the way we want. However, the choice is always fraught with difficulties. If only because you will have to give up one in favor of the other.
Marketers and salespeople have been trying to understand the psychology of decision making for decades. And they managed to draw certain conclusions. Today, these developments can help Internet entrepreneurs increase conversion and turn potential clients into real buyers.
What is choice?
Let's start with the basics. The American company Merriam-Webster, a publisher of reference books and dictionaries, defines decision making as the ability to choose between two or more positions.
The so-called “choice theory” of William Glasser is based on the fact that a person makes choices in order to satisfy his five basic needs: security, love, self-realization, freedom and entertainment.
Sheena Iyengar, a Columbia Business University professor who studies the psychology of choice, offers a third definition: “Choice is a person's preference. There are people who notice even the slightest differences between seemingly identical things. The essence of the phenomenon lies precisely in choosing one product from two seemingly identical ones.”
About preferences
There is another term - human preferences. According to Merriam-Webster theory: “It is a tendency associated with temperament or outlook, sometimes an unconscious decision.”
Preferences are embedded in our minds. They are formed throughout life, and often a person cannot even explain why he likes a certain thing.
For example, someone would rather have a dog than a cat. Because of which? The reason is that dogs are more friendly, attractive and kind. Most people will be able to answer this question. On the other hand, many will not find an explanation for why they prefer red to blue. They like it - that's all. This is the difference between conscious and unconscious preferences.
Associations and their influence on behavior
In psychology, association is defined as “an often unconscious reaction in response to a stimulus.” An experiment was conducted, the results of which determined the influence of associations on human behavior.
Two groups of people took part in the study. One was asked to read the phrase “yellow banana,” the other, “yellow sky.” In the first case, there were no hesitations, but in the second, most people hesitated before pronouncing “sky” and were surprised by just such a connection between the words. This experiment demonstrates that associations most often arise at an unconscious level.
Associations and choice
Associations have a great influence on the choices a person makes. And this is proven by another experiment conducted in 2001 by Frederic Brochet. The scientist asked respondents to rate wine from two different bottles. He mentioned that one of the provided copies was more expensive than the second. In fact, the same drink was poured into two bottles. Most people, having tried both types, said that the expensive one was tastier and “more interesting,” while the cheap one was inferior in many respects, and gave preference to the first one.
The results of the experiment demonstrate the connection between associations and choice. Expensive means high quality, the best. And that is why this particular product is more popular. The problem with such unconscious associations is that they exclude an understanding of the real quality of the product.
Preferences and choice
As mentioned above, preferences can be conscious or unconscious. The second in psychology refers to behavioral tendencies that influence a person’s choice. Let us list four factors that determine unconscious decision making.
1. The choice depends on the “first impression”
Often a person makes a choice based on the primary information received about the product. For example, when you pay $10 for shampoo and see it on sale for $8, it’s clear which option will seem more profitable to you. At the same time, if you previously bought the same shampoo for $12, and saw the price of $10, then you will happily pay this amount.
2. The choice depends on the context
The context in which the situation is presented also influences decision making. The following study demonstrates this. Four witnesses to the accident were asked to say how fast the cars were traveling when the impact occurred. For each of them, the situation was described in the same way, only the characteristics of the incident were changed: “touched,” “hit,” “collided,” and “crashed.” Witnesses gave the speeds as 31, 34, 38 and 41 mph respectively.
3. The choice depends on the environment
Many people call this "herd mentality" - when a new person in a group chooses the same thing as most other members of the community. He does this because he is afraid to stand out and incur condemnation.
4. The choice depends on the “fear of loss”
“Fear of loss” is a well-known theory in psychology, and it also applies to how a person makes choices. If he is afraid of losing or missing out on something, he will probably choose it - simply because later it will not be there.
Why is it always difficult to choose?
“Three months ago, I packed up and moved to another city because I signed a contract to work with a company whose existence I only recently learned about” or “Yesterday I bought two types of cheese, both of which I have never tried.”
Obviously, making a mistake in choosing cheese is much less painful than choosing a bad job. In addition, you can simply not eat the cheese, or return it to the store, that is, change your decision. And yet, the person who wrote this said that choosing to move to another city was much easier for him than choosing cheese.
On average, a supermarket stocks more than 30,000 different products. Even without conducting experiments, we can say that it is difficult to make a choice when there are so many products in front of your eyes.
Sheena Iyengar conducted an experiment in a store in Palo Alto, where 348 types of jam were presented. She took the stand with 6 varieties outside the store and saw that passersby paid little attention to the products presented. When jars with other varieties were added to the stand, more people wanted to try the jams, but buyers took a long time to make a choice.
This is the paradox: if you offer less, they won’t pay attention; if you offer more, consumers are tormented with their choice. We need to look for the “golden mean”.
Choice takes energy
“I try to reduce the possibility of choice in small things. I don't want to think about what to order for lunch or what to wear. Because there are too many other issues on which decisions need to be made,” as Barack Obama, US President, once said.
And he is not the only one who follows this logic. The creator of the social network Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, and the “father” of Apple, Steve Jobs, wore almost the same thing every day. And not because they don't understand fashion. Choice requires tension and provokes fatigue.
How to make the decision-making process easier?
There are some decisions that will never be easy. But fortunately for marketers and salespeople, this is not the case for them. There are specific and very real ways in which you can make the buying process more enjoyable and easier. These methods are drawn from the book “How to Make Choices Easier” by Sheena Iyengar, already known to us.
1. Reduce your assortment
When faced with an abundance problem, people are less likely to choose something. We wrote about this above. The trick is to find the balance between too much variety and just enough product. It's difficult, but if the company manages to do it, success is guaranteed. When manufacturer Proctor & Gamble reduced the Head & Shoulders line from 26 to 15 products, sales increased by 10%.
2. More specifics
“In order for people to quickly make a choice, they must clearly understand the possible benefits of purchasing a particular product,” says Sheena Iyengar.
3. Classify products
Think of a supermarket where there are over 30,000 products in stock. Now imagine that milk will be on the shelf next to shampoos, and soap next to meat. This is chaos. That’s why smart merchandisers work, and when we go to a supermarket, we don’t feel lost in such abundance.
4. Start simple
If you were offered the opportunity to outfit your own car, where would you start? The German car manufacturer has given customers the opportunity to create their own car model. It turned out that when initially given fewer positions to choose from, decisions were made slowly. After choosing from 56 different colors for the car, consumers became more active.
The choice may be difficult, but the human brain is truly capable of a lot, since it is known that it would take 82,944 processors to simulate 1 second of the thought process.
Starting simple and making choices progressively more complex makes the decision easier than if you present many alternatives at once.
Municipal educational institution
additional professional education
(advanced training) specialists
"Training and Methodological Center"
Workshop
Topic: Internal and external psychological choice.
Interactive game "Climbers".
Prepared and carried out
Head of structural unit,
Psychologist Petukhova N.A.
2011
American psychologist Lorenz Kohlberg, studying the process of formation of morality in children and adolescents, identified several levels or stages in it, orientation towards which may be quite acceptable and useful for us.
On pre-moral level (from 4 to 10 years) actions are determined by external circumstances and the points of view of other people are not taken into account. First, at the first stage, judgments are made on the basis of whether a particular action will be punished or praised. (You can’t take candy without asking - they will scold you...) Later - at the second stage - children evaluate their action based on the benefit that can be derived from it. (The boy who took the candy without asking and gave it to me is still good, because it’s delicious...)
On conventional level (from 10 to 13 years; Stages three and four) actions are perceived in accordance with the norms existing in society. The child is guided by the opinions of other people. At the third stage, the main criterion is someone's approval or disapproval. These are, as a rule, the opinions of particularly authoritative, reference people. (Mom will praise you if you ask permission...) At the fourth stage, the child begins to focus on generally accepted rules. They are no longer associated with specific people, but are perceived as abstract imperatives. (Well-mannered boys always ask permission...)
Post-conventional level (from 13 years old)represents true morality, which not every teenager grows into. At this level, a person bases his actions on his own internal criteria, which indicates his psychological maturity in terms of moral ideas and attitudes. At the fifth stage, the initial stage for this level, judgment about an action is based on respect for human rights and recognition of democratic norms. (The boy is right in wanting to get sweets, but you should ask, as is customary with adults...)
It is interesting that Kohlberg noted that many already fully grown people throughout their lives never even move to the fourth stage of moral development, and only 10% of those over 16 years of age reach the sixth, the highest stage (Encyclopedia for Children. Man. Part 2. P.332-335.M., 2003).
The area of external psychological choice includes the so-calledpersonalized moral choice. This refers to the choice by team members of each other for one or another game motive. Many games are built on this choice. How is it characteristic?
The moral motive in such a choice, as a rule, is hidden, but it undoubtedly takes place. When someone chooses one of two candidates to remain alive in a lifeboat or on a spaceship, he does so for moral reasons. And we are no longer talking about a simple assessment - here there is a very sharp and deep struggle of motives, and the most fundamental values of the individual enter into this struggle, and which of them will win is sometimes impossible for their bearer to predict. But it is precisely this choice that sometimes speaks best about the personality as such and the degree of its maturity, as well as the degree of approach to the set educational values.
The game allows you to tap into the potential of internal activity and self-determination, without which none of the results of upbringing will be considered any more effective. By avoiding direct verbal influence, the game allows you to use indirect methods of moral education, including the method of parallel action. When it is effectively connected, the teacher becomes not just one adult teacher, but the entire children's team, which at the same time is the main subject of the educational process.
What pedagogical problems can such games solve and what goals can they achieve? I say “they can” because it is not a fact that they have been achieved.
So, the goals:
Expansion and deepening of self-knowledge processes;
Developing ways to respond and “survive” when faced with various forms of physical and moral aggression;
Identification of “hidden” personality resources and reliance on them in conditions of choice;
Acceleration of personal growth processes in conditions of extreme psychological and physical stress;
Clarification of the “basic” values of the individual, their differentiation and alignment into a hierarchical system;
Creating an image of your “I” and comparing it with others;
In such a game synthesis, almost all processes catalyze each other, accelerating the achievement of all pedagogical goals. Such games are aimed at a breakthrough in personal growth, the conditions for which they create.
Conducting a workshop.
Warm up.
"The Will of a Millionaire"psychological game of trust, its degree, types.
The game's preamble is as follows: everyone must imagine themselves in the place of a dying millionaire who needs to make his will. Your will should indicate to whom you entrust the following “values”:
Million dollars;
Care of a minor son;
Set of gold toothpicks;
Family portrait;
An elderly, shabby, but beloved cat;
Everyone must choose from those sitting in the circle of friends to whom he trusts this or that “value.” The list of bequests was created taking into account a number of psychological stresses. Perhaps only a million dollars does not contain additional psychological context. The son is still a minor, which means he requires special care. Even though the toothpicks are gold, they still pick your teeth with them - an ironic coloring appears. A family portrait doesn’t seem to have much value compared to a million dollars, but it is a personified memory. The cat is the embodiment of personal affection, but he is already old and will not last long. Should you care too much about it? First, the names of those to whom what is bequeathed are written opposite the list, and then in a circle everyone talks about it. Everyone who is mentioned in the will is written down, and the same is bequeathed to them. After this the discussion begins. Everyone says what was bequeathed to him, how he can explain what was bequeathed to him and what feelings it evokes in him.
Climbers
The game is played in two stages. The first stage is warm-up.
On a rope or on a wall
To conduct this, all participants need to be divided into pairs and arranged in the form of a carousel. A carousel is two circles of game participants - an external and an internal one, of which one is movable (usually internal), and the other is stationary. After the interaction, the inner circle, at the leader’s signal, shifts by one person, and new pairs of interactants are formed.
After the pairs in the carousel have been determined, the presenter gives everyone two cards - red and black (it is convenient to use ordinary playing cards for this) and conducts detailed instructions, for which you need to spare no time so that the participants have a good idea of the consequences of their actions.
So, each pair is a pair of climbers climbing the same peak. Everyone’s task is to rise to the top as quickly as possible and get ahead of their partner. Climbers climb from opposite sides of the cliff, but are connected by a rope thrown over the top, but cannot control each other's actions. Everyone has an alternative - to climb the wall without using a rope, or to climb with the help of a rope. The whole intrigue lies in the fact that the consequences of your choice are directly related to the similar decision of your opponent.
If you decide to climb a wall without using a rope, and your partner also makes the same decision, then you both will take a long time to get to the top, and therefore both receive (-3) points. The situation is much more “profitable” if you decide to climb the wall, and your opponent decides to use a rope. Since the rope is untied from you, he will “fall into the abyss”, receiving (-5) points, and you, having reached the top alone, will receive the maximum result (5) points. But if you, thinking of speeding up your ascent, decide to grab the rope, and your opponent climbs the wall, then you fall into the abyss with (-5) points, and your opponent reaches the top with (5) points.
And finally, the last option is when you both decide to use a rope. You both make it to the top, but the result is more modest than if it were alone, you get (3) points each.
The cards symbolize the decision you have made. Black - climb the wall, red - take the rope. And the game itself consists in the manifestation of this choice in each pair of interacting “climbers”.
The presenter gives time to silently study the opponent and make a decision, and then, at his signal, both participants simultaneously open one of the cards - red or black. Points are recorded by each participant. And at the signal from the presenter, the inner circle of the carousel moves by one person. New pairs are formed, and this continues until the inner circle moves to its original state, and the carousel returns to the original pairs.
Now we need to take stock. Everyone counts their points, and as a result it turns out who collected the most and turned out to be the most “cunning” climber.
Where were the moral choices in the game? Of course, everyone could try to climb the wall in the hope that his opponent would take the rope and fall into the abyss, but can this choice be considered morally justified? The morally impeccable choice was when the participant always grabbed the rope, risking falling down and falling, but not allowing himself to put the life of his opponent on the line, even in the game plan.
It is imperative to find out whether among the participants there are those who always showed only red cards. They definitely need to be encouraged, and everyone else will have a reason to think about the moral side shown in this game choice.
Main stage of the gamerepresents the choice of saving one climber from a pair-link by a third.
Game exhibition.Two climbers were hanging on the edge of the abyss. You can't save both. Only one can be saved, and you have to make that choice. (At the same time, those hanging can “exert pressure”, simply ask to save them and motivate this request with something.)
The rescue climber can either throw a rope to the person he is saving or give him a hand. At the same time, the one who remains, “visually” and with corresponding emotions, “falls into the abyss.” This is necessary not only for play motivation, but also in order to express inevitable frustrating feelings.
When organizing a game, you can go in two ways. Pairs of hanging climbers can be formed from best friends, and rescuers from more “equidistant” ones. Then the main tension will pass between them. How will they behave? Try to save yourself or sacrifice yourself for the sake of a friend, inviting the person who saves to make a choice in favor of the friend.
If you dynamize the game by holding it in several circles, so that everyone can play 2-3 times both in the role of “hanging” in different pairs, and in the role of “rescuer,” then an option using a simple lot is appropriate. Then the pairs are determined by a random selection of the names of the participants, and the third becomes the rescuer.
To control the emotional state of the players, you can suggest keeping something like a “climber’s diary”, in which they reflect their feelings about the results of the choice with personal participation, as well as assumptions during observations of other participants and about their own chances of survival.
Literature:
1. A. Grandfather Psychological choice: moral aspects. Volgograd: Teacher, 2011.
HAlmost 6 million Russians sought professional psychological help in 2014. The figure seems impressive, but it is only 4% of the population. Collected data Do Russians go to psychotherapists? FOM, and so far they remain the freshest.
78% of respondents then indicated that they did not turn to anyone for advice in personal matters. Nevertheless, the vast majority of those who used the help of a psychotherapist were satisfied with the result (three out of four people). There is therefore reason to believe that the picture may have changed significantly over the past few years.
In addition, online psychotherapy services began to appear. Blogs, on television, and in popular science books increasingly talk about how important it is to maintain mental health and not keep problems to yourself. Let’s figure out what problems psychotherapy solves, how much it costs, and how to recognize a bad specialist.
You should see a specialist if you have been experiencing emotions that cause you discomfort for a long time. For example, you are angry at someone and you can’t stop thinking about it. You envy, you get jealous, you get bored, you get upset... And it keeps you too busy. Distracts from other things that would bring joy, and not sow melancholy or anger.
You spend hours looking at your ex's pages or scrolling through your Instagram feed. You drink too much at parties on Fridays. Psychotherapy in this case will mean that you are already tired of wasting time on this. And you are ready to move forward.
When you arrive at the reception, you will definitely be greeted by silence. It is important for a psychologist or psychotherapist to know where you start, where you came from. To effectively spend your paid time, identify in advance what exactly is bothering you. You can do this point by point in order of priority.
Psychologist, psychotherapist and psychiatrist are three types of specialists to whom we turn for help. Their services are paid differently, and their skills are supported by different levels of education. But they have something in common: neither of them will give you a recipe for happiness. And he won’t say that it’s okay to do it this way, but it’s not. Their task is to study your emotions and experiences, try to find the causes of negative experiences and suggest a trajectory of change.
“We are programming for success”, “We will get you married in 10 days”, “We will make you happy in a month” - these phrases should be red flags for you. It is better to ignore such consultations.
If you suffer from unrequited love or are unhappy with a sluggish career, a specialist will teach you how to stop doing this. And start feeling normal, and maybe even happy. Without a partner, without a dream job, but on my own.
Graduate of the Faculty of Psychology. He has no medical education. And he has no right to diagnose or prescribe. Works with mentally healthy people who find themselves in difficult emotional situations, experiencing crises and dissatisfaction with themselves.
A psychologist will study your character and behavior and help you find a way out of specific conflicts in friendship, family or team. In addition to private practice, such specialists can work as consultants in schools and universities, banks, clinics, the army and, for example, in factories.
Doctor with postgraduate training or specialization in psychiatry. In comparison, a consulting psychologist looks more superficially and solves only a specific problem. He works with an emotion or behavior that the client is not happy with in himself. People rather come to a psychotherapist with some suffering, for which in therapy they look for the true cause. This requires deeper and longer work.
If the main tool of a consulting psychologist is skills and techniques, the main tool of a psychotherapist is himself.
This is a person who is ready to listen and not judge. He applies his knowledge of psychology to find the true basis of the patient's worries.
A doctor who treats mental disorders in cases where there are organic changes. And where a simple conversation will not help the matter.
For example, depression is most often successfully treated by working with a psychotherapist. But sometimes clinical depression is detected, in which the system of reward and dopamine production is disrupted. Then a person is basically unable to experience joy. It is the psychiatrist who diagnoses this and selects medications. So it is with other mental disorders, in which changes occur at an organic level and treatment requires medications.
Psychotherapists themselves go to psychotherapists. As we noted above, their working tool is their own and personality. But from time to time the settings get lost, and then calibration is needed.
There comes a time when a psychotherapist or psychologist goes to his supervisor. This process is called supervision.
They do this for two purposes: to get an additional opinion on cases from their practice and to get advice on personal problems. Supervision is important because it allows the specialist to “reset” and not unconsciously blame his problems on clients.
The frequency of supervision varies from person to person. Different schools of psychotherapy recommend conducting them from once a month to once a year. In Russia, this practice is not enshrined in regulations. Therefore, it is impossible to oblige a psychotherapist to undergo supervision.
Pay attention to the specialist's membership in various organizations. Some of them require their representatives to undergo supervision. The easiest way is to openly ask the specialist you have chosen if he undergoes this procedure. By his reaction you can understand his attitude towards his work. Avoid those who say they don't need supervision.
The most reliable guide remains word of mouth. Pay attention to specialists who are recommended to you by friends and acquaintances.
In addition, having chosen the type of specialist, determine what level of education you would like to see from him. Research which psychology departments are the most reputable in your area.
Browse several search engine pages. Look for those who work in a location convenient to you. Write down the prices of their services and the length of the sessions. This will allow you to set boundaries for yourself so as not to worry at the reception that you are overpaying.
No matter how competent a specialist is, he is interested in you coming to him on an ongoing basis. And they did this as often as possible. However, regularity of sessions does protect the client and makes therapy more effective.
The ideal start is one to two sessions per week.
It all depends on the depth of the problem you came with. And the intensity of the suffering it brings you. After the first month, the frequency of visits may become less frequent.
It is impossible to predict in advance how many techniques will be enough. However, by listening to your feelings, already during the therapy process you will be able to determine the optimal frequency and number of sessions for yourself.
Remember that you always have the right to stop therapy. If you want to pay for a course of sessions right away, make sure at a trial appointment that the specialist is right for you. And you and he are on the same wavelength.
In the United States, where psychotherapy services are the norm of psychological hygiene, the discussion about abuse of trust by doctors is gaining weight. Psychotherapists convince clients that if they quit sessions, they will become unhappy. Pays attention to this In Therapy Forever? Enough Already attention of The New York Times.
According to a 2010 study cited by the newspaper, 42% of people undergoing psychotherapy need from 3 to 10 sessions. Only 1 in 9 people require more than 20 sessions for a course.
For these 11%, therapy becomes a dead end. Research shows that often the longer the therapy, the less likely it is to be effective. But psychotherapists refuse to admit defeat.
The New York Times
Psychotherapy should not be overused. It doesn't have to last forever. It should be perceived as an effective tool to clear things up in your own head and move on. Already a calmer and happier person.
If you feel that your worries go beyond a specific problem and are more like suffering that you would like to leave, a series of sessions will be required. Schedule your therapy expenses for the month in advance. And cut back on others to fit a therapist into your regular budget and avoid surprises at the end of the month.
Free consultations are a good way to determine whether you need psychotherapy. If you are a student at a large university, there is probably a psychological service staffed by professors and graduate students of the psychology department. Pay attention to this.
In addition, many cities have municipal psychological services. As a rule, the downside of free consultations is not the quality. And the fact is that you need to make an appointment in advance. In some cases, even a month. But it is a great way to decide whether you want to continue and how much counseling you need.
It may turn out that you will find answers to all the questions that concern you in the first session.
The compromise may be online reception. In the US, such services have already gained popularity. There are only two of them in Russia - “Yasno” and Sreda. Both projects launched at the end of 2017. The price is comparable to offline methods.
The term “red flags” refers to indicative situations that require your attention. Something to think about. If you notice something suspicious in communication, put a mental red flag for yourself. If there are a lot of them, you will understand that the matter is unclean.
A significant reason to refuse a specialist is personal antipathy. It is inappropriate in choosing any other doctor from whom you only need his skills and responsibility. But this is important for successful psychotherapy, notes Finding the Right Psychiatrist and/or Psychotherapist Dr. med. Fredrik Neumann.
The patient does not need to love the surgeon who performs the operation. But this is important in the case of a psychotherapist or psychiatrist. Therapy with a patient who dislikes you is impossible. Whatever the reason.
Fredrik Neumann, Director of the Center for the Treatment of Anxiety and Phobias (USA), Doctor of Medical Sciences
A red flag should be set if, after a short conversation, the therapist persuades you to enter into a long-term contract. Place the second one if he assures that if you quit therapy, you will lose all the results you have gained. And you will fall into the abyss of despair and misfortune. For this you can immediately give a third one.
As the supervisor of the Moscow Gestalt Institute Daria Ryazanova points out in an interview Help yourself: how to choose a psychotherapist, you should not be alarmed if the therapist asks you to pay only for the last appointment in advance.
The fact is that at some stage the client has a problem. This is due to the fact that the patient and the psychotherapist jointly reached some pain points. And when it hurts, you want to quit everything immediately. The money paid is usually a guarantee that this will not happen. And the client will break through the unpleasant stage.
Daria Ryazanova, supervisor of the Moscow Gestalt Institute
It is also normal practice that you cannot get a refund for an appointment if you cancel it in less than 24 hours. This insures both the therapist and you.
“To understand whether a specialist is right for you,” says Ryazanova, “and to distinguish natural resistance from everything else, I would advise relying on the impression from the first two meetings. It should be quite positive. And if by the third or fourth time the euphoria gives way to rejection, then you need to break through it. And if both the first and second times you had serious doubts about the specialist, then it is better to change him immediately.”
10 tips on decision-making strategy based on 10 psychological experiments.
Sometimes, at a crossroads in front of a difficult choice, fear of change and anxiety about the consequences can paralyze us.
In the morning we choose what to wear today, in the evening - what movie to watch, what to do in life, how to choose the right guy or girl...
Life is a continuous series of decisions. It would seem that this is a pleasant pastime that allows us to create our own lives. But often the need to constantly make decisions causes us difficulties - sometimes, within a few seconds, we must evaluate alternatives, balance intuitive feelings and rational thinking, imagine possible scenarios for the further development of events, and then perhaps regret our choice.
That's why sometimes we prefer... not to choose. Psychologists associate this with the fear of change - every new decision frightens us because it upsets the usual balance of life.
Worrying about the consequences can paralyze us. In difficult situations, in order to free ourselves from the difficult need to choose, we risk making an erroneous decision or drawing the wrong conclusion. But not choosing at all is actually worse than making a mistake. Therefore, you need to learn how to do this.
In any situation, there are correct strategies for making the right decision and avoiding a hasty, erroneous one. The English weekly New Scientist has compiled years of research and experimentation on this topic into 10 tips on “how to make the right choice.”
Hidden influence on decision making. Our decision may be influenced by the so-called “anchor effect” (or “ anchoring effect"). This is especially true if we have little basic information to make a decision. Its essence is that if we do not know what to start from, then our conclusions are influenced by the previously perceived random (or imposed) irrelevant information.
The following psychological experiment was conducted: The subjects spun a drum (as in “Field of Miracles”) with numbers from 1 to 100. The drum was specially programmed so that it could only show two numbers - 10 or 65. After spinning the drum, the subjects were asked the question: “Which what percentage of African countries are members of the UN?” — The question is obviously complex, the answer to which few people know. But when answering it, a clear influence of the number that had fallen before was noticed - those who got the number 10 named a low percentage (about 25% of countries), and among those who got the number 65, the percentage of African countries that are members of the UN increased sharply - up to 45.
The influence of the “anchor effect” can also be seen in a store where they sell things at a discount. If on the price tag we see the old price of a thing much higher than the current one, then we are most likely to buy it, and not one where the difference between the old and new prices is small. Sellers often use this successfully.
Advice: The anchor effect is difficult to avoid, so try to get more information on the topic so that extraneous information does not influence your decision.
Too many options make it difficult for the brain to process information, which leads to confusion and errors. In the end, after choosing one of the many options, we will be less satisfied because we will believe that we may have missed a better opportunity.
An excess of alternatives paralyzes and confuses us. US Columbia University psychologist Sheena Iyengar established this through a psychological experiment, conducting an experiment with sweets (photo). Those buyers who analyze too many possible options before purchasing especially suffer from the complexity of choice. The strategy of analyzing as many options as possible works up to a certain limit. The one who chooses the first thing he likes when viewing their sequence gets more pleasure from the result.
Advice: Even if the objectively chosen item is not the “best of the best,” you will be satisfied with its choice if you have not exhausted yourself by considering and analyzing a long series of options. Instead of scouring the entire Internet and nearby stores in search of the perfect car radio, ask your friend if he is happy with his? If he is happy, then you will be happy too.
Imagine that you are sitting in an expensive restaurant, you are already full, but you feel obligated to order dessert. This is the “high-cost effect” - if a lot of time, money, and effort have already been spent, then it’s too late to go back. We often agree to a more expensive and not very profitable deal if we have previously spent energy and money on this matter, which is not always a wise decision.
I've already spent a lot. What's the difference now?! Advice: Don't take too much into account what happened. The time and money have already been spent anyway, and the smart thing to do would be to stop throwing it away any further. Look at things rationally, this way you will avoid serious mental discomfort in the future - admitting your mistake.
To confirm a theory, it is better not to prove it, but to question it. Many people, in support of their opinion, cite only those facts that really confirm it, forgetting about others. This tendency to confirm hypotheses can also be seen in decision making.
Sometimes our decision is influenced by some kind of “predecision”. For example, when planning an evening, we first collect information about the possibility of going to the cinema. And in the end, we will most likely go to the cinema without even considering other alternatives.
Psychological experiment: There are four cards, with one letter drawn on one side and a number on the other. They lie on the table in the following order: D, A, 2, 5. The subject is informed that the card with the letter D has the number 5 on the other side. By checking this information, the subject is convinced that this is indeed the case - the theory is confirmed. But no one talked about which letter was on the back of the card with the number 5. When trying to find a second card with the letter D, 80% of the subjects opened the one with the number 5, although there was no indication of this. What is evident is pure tendentious thinking.
Advice: When making a decision, take into account only the facts, and be able to question your own or imposed beliefs.
What's better - a new car or more spacious housing? When choosing, we try to imagine how we will feel after making this or that decision, and choose what we think will make us happier. However, it is useful to know that our psychology is characterized by a certain “premature regret effect.” We tend to believe that a bad decision can bring more grief than the right choice can bring joy. Therefore, it is sometimes difficult for us to take a serious step in life and we limit ourselves to some minor changes.
Don't look for easy ways. Losing is actually not that bad. This is also proven by an experiment that showed that most people will only accept a bet with a 50:50 chance of winning if, if they win, they will receive at least twice what they bet. For example, with a bet of 5 euros, they will win 10 euros or more.
Advice: Remember, no matter what happens, the pain or joy that your decision will bring you will be less than you imagine. Don't just look for easy roads - no one said that failure will definitely befall you. But, if anything happens, be prepared for it and know that sometimes they happen due to chance, and not just because of our mistakes.
Emotions help us make quick decisions when it comes to our survival. Fear makes us run away from danger, hostility makes us throw away unhealthy food. But the role of emotions is not limited to this - the part of the brain responsible for emotions is always activated when making decisions, because the brain in this case also takes into account memories of emotions after previously made decisions.
Psychological experiment: A group of people were asked to share a certain amount of money with strangers. It has been observed that people who feel angry and irritated are less generous. The experiment is simple but illustrative - emotions are an integral element of any choice. 
Advice: Know that different emotions can influence your decision differently. For example, anger makes us impulsive and risk-taking. Sadness, on the contrary, favors reflection. Depression can lead to completely rash choices. Even lack of sleep can affect your decision making. It has been noticed that when gambling, a sleep-deprived person is more prone to risk and analyzes the possible gain more than the risk of losing.
If you are under the influence of strong emotions at the time of making a decision, it is better to turn to someone for advice.
Even the most independent people can be influenced by authority or simply by the opinion of a group of people, if they are part of this group.
Psychological experiment: Stanley Milgram from Yale University (USA) “forced” experimental volunteers to “punish” an imaginary criminal sitting behind translucent glass with electric discharges. The goal was to test how far people could go in neglecting their sense of compassion under the influence of authoritative influence - almost everyone, at the insistence of the presenter, increased the voltage of the discharge until the “criminal” lost consciousness (feignedly, of course). 
Advice: If in this situation it seems to you that you do not bear any responsibility for the decision made, analyze the situation, maybe it just seems so to you.
We usually think that it is better to make a decision ourselves, but psychologists have proven that such a decision will bring less satisfaction. We need our decision to be emotionally colored by an outside opinion. That is, in the matter of making a choice, as in everything else, we need psychological support.
Psychological experience: Ann McGill from the University of Chicago asked one group of subjects to make a choice between objects, the name of each of which was also supplemented with four adjectives, while another group of people made the same choice without any description of these objects. A follow-up survey showed that the first group of participants were more satisfied with their choice. In the second group, after making a decision, people were bothered by thoughts that perhaps they could have chosen something better.
Advice: Listen to the authoritative opinions of others about the items of your choice. Once you have collected enough answers to the questions What are they like- these objects, a certain emotional aura will appear around each of them, after which your subconscious will itself incline you to one choice or another.
Sometimes there are situations in life when you can completely rely on the opinion of another person, if he is much more competent than you in this matter. Figuratively speaking, let the doctor decide for you how to treat you, and let your taster friend choose the wine in the restaurant.
If you think too long, there is a greater risk of making mistakes. The principle of weighing all the pros and cons in some particularly difficult situations may be an overwhelming task for your mind. In such cases, the subconscious will instantly complete the intellectual task. Based on a lifetime of experience and our deepest instincts, it is able to evaluate all alternatives in a split second and make the right decision.
So, in some very difficult situations, if your mind gets lost in the abyss of facts and arguments in favor of this or that choice, just stop thinking and follow the dictates of your heart.
But here you also need to be careful, as mentioned above, if you are in a state of strong emotional arousal, the subconscious may “make a mistake,” that is, follow the lead of emotions. Do not confuse a decision made “in the heat of the moment” with one made “at the behest of the heart.”
Experiment: There are two groups of participants. Appeal to the participants from the first group: “You receive 50 euros, 30 of them you can save, for the remaining 20 we offer you to play, with them you can win another 50.”
Address to the participants of the second group: “You get 50 euros, but you can lose 20 of them by playing with them, although if you’re lucky, you might get another 50.”
As a result, 72% of participants from the first group and 37% from the second agreed to risk twenty.
I think you've already done it yourself conclusion from this situation: always analyze “in what sauce” the information is presented to you.
